Tell me about the first man you ever killed
by Lord Casskey
Summary: FMA/Inuyasha crossover, mob, organized crime. Two men, mortal enemies, walk into a bar. What could they have to talk about? Not the same canon as my later work.
1. Chapter 1

FOREWORD: I own a computer and various body parts, which are attached to me. I do not count Fullmetal Alchemist or Inuyasha among those things.

Ed drained his sixth glass, then upended it and placed it on top of the five that he had built into a pyramid. "And now," he said to no one in particular, "What goals shall I set for myself in my life?" he giggled, as much at the light shining through the shot glasses as anything else.

Kimbley was two booths away, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible for one of only two people in a bar at midnight. Actually, a bar at midnight? Empty?

Well, the bullet holes and the missing bartender helped. Ed had just put the "Closed due to health department investigation" sign over the door, then charged in and blown the poor co-conspirator behind the bar away.

Ed had spent the hour and a half since then getting sloshed and making obscene gestures at his reflection. The pyramid of shot glasses that he had just finished was only his seventh.

"Kimbley, am I a likeable person?" Ed asked, apropos of nothing save what was already inside his head.

"Sure, boss. Can we go now?" Kimbley answered, trying to think up an excuse for his mother. _maybe I'll tell her that the garbage plant made me stay late. Somebody dropped a wrench in the garbage disposal._

"I don't know," Ed said, eyes mock-accusing, "if you're really the most sub…suh… subjective judge here." Ed got up from his stool and prodded the body slumped over the bar. "Hey, gimme a second opinion, willya? How do you like me, huh?" he prodded the guy again.

Ed laughed a little, then stumbled over and fell, quite literally fell into a chair by a table.

He salted his tongue a bit, then threw the saltshaker at the window.

He was more than surprised to hear the window bang back at him.

The rough face surrounded by white hair stared back at him through the glass.

Uninvited, a hand emerged from the pocket of a red coat and gently but firmly pushed the door open, breaking through the flimsy lock easily.

He sat down opposite Ed, and the two men looked at each other for a long time.

Finally, one broke the silence.

"Drink?" Ed said, filling up two glasses and pushing one towards the other man.

White hair nodded, and threw it back like a pro. "Not Sake," he said in a clipped, flat, aggressive Tokyo accent, "But it'll do if I must drink in a country of barbarians."

"You will forgive me," Ed said, "But I am drunk and I didn't really care in the first place. What's your name?"

"My clan forgoes names as you recognize them, encouraging members to pick our own. I consider Inuyasha to be a good name." The man opposite answered.

"Yes, yes, of course. What are things like over in Japan? Better than here?"

"Yes."

"Why are you here, then?" it was an answer that he should have been able to figure out on his own, but Ed was never one for tact even when he was sober.

"Territory. It's all about territory. This is mine and that is yours. They sent me over here because my English was relatively good, and because this is a country ripe for colonization."

"I'm pretty sure that all the land was bought up many years ago." Ed interjected.

"Yes, but our kind, yours and mine, we simply take, we do not buy. And the side effect is that ownership is kicked around like a ball. And when a ball is in flight, someone else, who perhaps has not been playing, can step in and catch it before it hit's the ground." Inuyasha finished.

"You zany zennies have a thing for metaphor, don't you?"

"I suppose."

Ed toyed with his new drink. "Let's talk about something that we have in common."

"We both have guns under this table." Inuyasha said.

"And? In my neighborhood, that just means that you're talking to someone with something worth saying." Ed said reasonably. "You've got two guns, though, one on Kimbley, one on me."

"Yes. And it may not be your neighborhood for very much longer. But yes, I see your point. Let's talk about something that we share."

"Sure." Ed said. "Why don't you tell me about the first man you ever killed?"

Inuyasha laughed then, the laugh of someone who has finally found a friend, or rival, or something similar, and said, "It was back in Japan, of course. I was seventeen, young, and I knew a young woman from this… I don't know what is same in America. Eating place?"

"Restaurant."

"I don't think that was exactly it, but I knew a girl there. Then, my brother, he went there once with me. He met a friend in the bathroom, because it was easy to lock from the inside, and talked about… business. There was a disagreement, and the screams were heard from outside."

Inuyasha took another gulp of whiskey. "My brother ran off into the night. The man who owned the place went to call the police, and he made the mistake of turning his back to me when I had a table knife in my hand."

"Aah." Ed said. "Why'd you mention the girl?"

"Because she stopped seeing me after that. She did not understand my situation compared to what I did to her father."

Ed grinned a bit. "Ah, yes. My first time was not quite so melodramatic. Just a pimp. My brother had tried to get him to sell our guns, but he refused. Apparently a woman's soul is more wholesome a product than simple firearms. I happened to be in the neighborhood, and I stopped by to say hello. As usual, my forty-five did most of the talking. I'm the strong, silent type." he took another swig. "My brother has gotten worse over the years. Honey sweet, but with a poisoned mind. Greedy."

"My brother was an honorable man." Inuyasha said.

"Was?"

"Your brother killed him last night." Inuyasha stated flatly. It was a fact, and men like them did not deny such things.

"I can't say I'm surprised. Why'd you stop in here?"

Inuyasha took the bottle and poured out the last two drinks for both of them. "I set up the heist with the bartender as safe house several weeks ago, then after things changed, I made sure to tip off the exact cop that was on your payroll."

"Really?" Ed was tiredly impressed. "Why?"

"To see you, here, now."

"Really? Little ol' me? Why?"

"Because I am on my way to kill your brother, and I thought that you should know." He was unapologetic.

"Really?" Ed said. "Good. Bastard." he drained the last of the bottle. "You take care. He keeps a second gun in those cowboy boots of his, watch out for it."

"Thank you. Also, I must ask a favor." Inuyasha said, stiff but close to satisfied inside.

"Go ahead." Ed waved.

Inuyasha got up and shot Kimbley once in the chest.

Kimbley gurgled, surprised, as he slumped onto the floor. His .38 clattered across the tile.

Inuyasha walked up to him, then squatted down next to him, cradling his head, nine millimeter in one hand, .380 tucked behind his belt. "This is for getting rid of my brother's corpse like road kill." he put two rounds in Kimbley's forehead.

Then, the white haired Yakuza got up, walked to the door, but paused to look back at Ed.

Ed nodded.

His new colleague nodded back, walking away into the night.

Ed grabbed a small bottle of beer from behind the counter. "Good bye, you fucking sicko. I'll drop by your mother's with the deed to her house." he crossed himself, only slightly ironically, and poured the alcohol over Kimbley's body. "Rest in peace. Everyone deserves that."

He walked out the door, only pausing to throw a Molotov cocktail behind him, onto the spilled vodka on the floor. It seemed only appropriate.

He turned up his collar for the imagined chill, as he walked away from the blaze.

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: Firstly, I'd like to mention that I have no love for Inuyasha, or anything else written by Rumiko Takahashi. I don't think that she's a good writer. I do, however, think that she has a gift for creating relatable, three-dimensional characters, which makes her stories perfect for AU fics like this._

_FMA is oddly responsive to Alternate Universes, being that all of the characters have easily adaptable flaws and tastes and quirks. _

_Assume that Ed and Al are part of the Polish mob, as I don't know if Germany has an active organized crime presence in America. _

_The setting may turn out to be Massachusetts. I'm not sure yet._

_Actually, I'm not sure if I should continue this. Your feedback would be much appreciated, as always. _

_Thank you for reading!_


	2. An announcement

I have a new fic now!

It's set in the same world as this, but I didn't want to kill off Al so I changed it a bit. It's called "A Dirty Business" and it should be up by the time you read this!

Thank you all for reading, and thank you, Nightwolf Espada 0, Moira Reborn and xXSweetestXAngelXNightmareXx for reviewing!

And just one more thing: Ed is out of character in this fic because he's drunk off his ass and just had to come to terms with killing his brother. And my reinterpretation of Ed is a little more muted, simply because he's had many more hardships and has had to do some things that he isn't proud of. Thanks for the constructive criticism, though!


End file.
